CAUTION - THIS MAY BE OFFENSIVE

I love words.
Words can create a painting in your imagination, and evoke emotion too deep to describe. The description of time, place, people can provide a marvelous means of escape. Words can be a stress buster. Certain phrases offered with proper timing can cause you to laugh till you cry. They can take you to a place of suspense and wonder and fear. Words spoken can build you up, or tear you down. A few well-placed words in the face of someone you’re angry with can create a destruction that lasts for years. Like it or not – words are creative.

You can’t take back words. They are out there. “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” What a lie! Bones heal. Hearts and souls just add band aid after band aid of temporary hope. trying to ignore the painful words. Even if the one who threw the words like stones in a sling, without thinking of the consequences, tries to say I’m sorry, or I didn’t mean it. In the times of difficulty, or insecurity, those words will come screaming back out of the crevices etched in the soul by a few careless words.

So is this a serious article? Somewhat…but not completely. As writers, we are taught to trim our writing of unncessary words. These could be words that tell – rather than show. We don’t say, “the moon was shining on the sidewalk” – we say “broken glass on the sidewalk sparkled under the moonlight.” We don’t tell you the woman was really angry. We say, “Invisible daggers shot from eyes weighted with anger looked for their target.”

Our trimmings can include adverbs and some adjectives. As a child I was taught that an adjective tells: which, what kind of and how many.

So... I was reading some comments on a Youtube video, and was astounded at how many times the F word – in its adjective form was used. Not only was it irritating – it made no sense. “I hate that f-ing b. (Speaking of Sandra Lee - a cook on the food network.)

First I wondered what she had done to him to make him hate her so. Did he really know her? And several comments later someone else talked about the f-ing kitchen. (Which what kind of and how many). After reading his description of the kitchen – f-ing – I couldn’t even picture it.

Should the F word really be used as an adjective? “Man I got this f-ing truck, I paid $28k." We don’t know if it was a good deal or bad. I wonder what color it was, the year, and perhaps the size. Shall we sympathize with this guy, or celebrate? I just don’t know.

And when we think of what the term “F” really means. Why are we using it in the first place? I can’t imagine someone saying, “Go sexual intercourse yourself.” Is this a word that we use because we can’t think of anything else? This truly shows a lack of creativity. Lately the common phrase is “WTF”. So we are saying “What The Sexual Intercourse?” Then of course the adjective form comes into play “Get out of my Sexual Intercourse way.”…or sexual intercoursing way. I was told as a young woman that the word actually means “forced unwilling carnal knowledge.” That’s even more difficult to use. “Hey – forced unwilling carnal knowledge you!” Frankly when someone - for whatever reason - screams that at me, I usually say "No thank you."

I guess if I’m going to become cool, I have to learn the broad- spectrum use of the F word. Even my Christian friends, and yes, well educated, from bachelors to doctorate, use the F word.

Is it because we are so mad or disatisfied that we have to find one word that is the epitome of disgust and anger? Yet, more often than not, the word is not used in anger or disgust.

What’s the point? Why are we so angry? Why are we so dependent on four letters to convey our feelings? Or is this some rite of passage into acceptance by the masses that I have missed? Do I have to agree with everything Jack Kerouac said in order to be a “free thinker?” Could Tennessee Williams used less of the four letter words and still have been successful?” Yes, I know I've only addressed half a word, but I love my mother too much to even use that part of the word.

The other favorite word of course is the S word. “Man, we were dancing and S.” And then this f-ing chick tells me she’s hungry. Like I need to buy her some f-ing food. Sounds like an unpleasant dance or to say the least.

Another comment on a cooking show: “What kind of S is she fixing. I would never eat that S.” Well, I hope not!

“Pick up your S and get the F out.” If you use real words to convey what you are saying, it’s going to sound pretty stupid.

I guess I started thinking about this because I saw a crawl on the news channel indicating that California is going to ban cussing. Some people really believe that’s what the framers of our constitution meant when they said “freedom of speech.” The right to offend anyone and everyone, and fill the atmosphere with filth and anger.

By the way, did you know that people seldom (never?) mis-spell the F word? But they frequently mis-spell “you’re”. I guess that means we can handle 4 letters - but not 5. How brilliant are we?


O.K. I’m done. I’m just tired of sitting in a restaurant, and listening to people rant and rave using only four letter words. And if the person is on a cell phone, you know he has to speak even louder.(It must be an unwritten rule.) How pathetic. And it doesn’t matter if children are present.

There are so many beautiful words – appropriate words – descriptive words that are available to us. Why choose only two? Maybe like writers, we should trim our words. We don’t need the f-ing adjective, and there are better nouns to use.

Let’s quit saying things with our mouths we wouldn’t hold in our hands…or do in public.